Women's History Month: The Feminist Memo You Never Got (But Should Have)

"Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women”

Maya Angelou.

Put your tights on Kelsey, we're going to Church.

Why aren't you wearing any underwear?  

Where's your camisole that goes on under your dress?

Mom, these tights don't fit—they're too short and I can't pull them up all the way. That slippery thing under my dress makes me feel like I have wasps in my blood, and those undies make my 'parts' itchy.

Why do we have to go to Church anyway?  It is sooooo boring.  I hate going to church.

My mother frowned, and the crease between her eyes deepened, making her look like she had two bum cheeks—my cue to disappear.

I rolled my face, shut my bedroom door, and stuck out my tongue.

“Why do I have to wear all this stupid stuff under my dress anyway?” I yelled through the door.

Kelsey, how many times do we have to go over this? It's not ladylike to wear nothing underneath. Nice young ladies must wear a camisole and underwear.

Humph… Ladylike. I don't want to be ladylike—I just want to play. I guarantee my cousin Mitch doesn't have to be ladylike, wear a camisole, or go to church today. Church sucks.

My mom yelled through the door – I'm telling you Kelsey; you're going to Church.  And if you don't have all your undergarments on when we leave this house, you'll have to do double the chores next week.

I slumped down on my bed and snuggled into my stuffy pile.

I grabbed Miss Shortcake and lifted her dress – nope – no undies there.

Life is not fair.

I slid off my bed onto the floor and stared at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on my ceiling. I thought to myself, maybe if I hide under the bed, they won't find me.

And then my mother shouted from the kitchen - Kelsey, we are leaving in five minutes, and don't think about hiding under your bed.

I quickly scanned the room – is she watching me? How does she do that?

I was doomed.  Another Sunday ruined.

Can any other ladies relate to the story above? 

(or something close to it)

Well then, I suppose you could call yourself a feminist in the making.

And while we're at it, let's break down the term feminism 

(because it really does get a bad rap.)

According to Karen Offen, who wrote, 'Defining Feminism:  A Comparative Historical Approach, she says that,

“Feminism opposes women's subordination to men in the family and society, along with men's claims to define what is best for women without consulting them; it offers a frontal challenge to patriarchal thought, social organizations, and control mechanisms. Feminism makes claims for a rebalancing between women and men of the social, economic, and political power within a given society, on behalf of both sexes in the name of their common humanity, but with respect for their differences.”

Simply put; if you're a woman and want to control your finances, have dreams of becoming the Prime minister, have a job (outside the home), choose not to have children, go to school, believe in equal pay, believe in personal freedom, do not want to act like a lady, and/or don't conform to any other of society's rules of behavior – then you're a feminist.

So my question to you is – why are so many weary of the term feminism?

To start, if a woman chose to take a stand against 'the rules of society' the odds of her being labeled a witch, ridiculed, harassed, beaten, or even killed, were definitely in her favour.

And last week's blog uncovered an uncomfortable truth—our fight for emancipation and equality wasn't built on solid ground.

Our trailblazing foremothers who ignited the feminist movement also created two opposing schools of thought—locked in a battle against each other while chasing the same ultimate goal.

When it comes to creating lasting change, a foundation divided against itself is hardly the strongest place to start.

So, could it be as simple as Society not getting the memo? 

Are we confused by all the negative noise and fearful that we're going to be singled out and ostracised by our peers because our past was so scary?

So what are our next steps?

1. It's time to rewrite the narrative – it's ok to support other women even with opposing opinions

2. Accept the past, learn from it, and let it go

3. Empower yourself and be the change that you want to see

What do you think?

Let me know in the comments below!

Until Next Week,

Stay Wild.